


“The matter of changing the essence of a thing.” (Chapter 73.5)

by DarkAcey



Series: Bonus content from Not My Namesake [5]
Category: The Legend of Zelda & Related Fandoms, The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild, The Legend of Zelda: The Minish Cap
Genre: Awkward Conversations, Backstory, Deleted Scenes, Gen, Gender Dysphoria, Good Vaati (Legend of Zelda), Missing Scene, Post-Breath of the Wild, Post-Calamity Ganon, Trans Male Character, Trans Male Zelda (Legend of Zelda), Trans Zelda (Legend of Zelda), Transitioning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-10
Updated: 2020-11-10
Packaged: 2021-03-08 19:41:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,694
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27382105
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DarkAcey/pseuds/DarkAcey
Summary: Now that Zelda has set things right in the kingdom, he's going to see his friend Vaati about doing the same for himself.This ficlet comes fromNot My Namesake, a story set 100 years after the fall of Calamity Ganon with a new cast of heroes. It can be read on its own, but if you want to avoid spoilers, I recommend reading this after chapter 73.
Relationships: Vaati & Zelda (Legend of Zelda)
Series: Bonus content from Not My Namesake [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1806355
Kudos: 12





	“The matter of changing the essence of a thing.” (Chapter 73.5)

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Not My Namesake](https://archiveofourown.org/works/22827259) by [DarkAcey](https://archiveofourown.org/users/DarkAcey/pseuds/DarkAcey). 



> I debated a long time whether or not to include this scene as part of the denouement of NMN, but ultimately I decided that (1) the end was long enough as-is without this scene, and (2) I didn't want to put any focus on Kit's medical transitioning. It's a toxic idea that trans people are only "valid" if they medically/surgically transition, and I didn't want to imply that in NMN. The most important part of his transition is the support he gets from his friends, not what he does to check off any arbitrary check boxes.
> 
> That said, I do consider this scene as part of the "canon" for NMN. It may or may not get referenced in book 2 (which I'm still working on at the time of posting this), but regardless, I hope you enjoy it.

“Hey, Vaati?” Zelda called, finding the Minish in the astral observatory hidden directly beneath the Sanctum.

The cavernous space had been extensively damaged during the Hero’s fight with the Calamity Ganon, but the rubble had been removed and dust swept out, leaving the constellations on its ceiling and the silhouettes of Hyrule’s landscape at the base of its walls free to view once more. The castle hadn’t known what to do with the space other than to preserve it for history’s sake. So, when Vaati elected to remain at the castle, he was allowed to furnish it into a personal lab. A third of the space held the research the castle seized from Twinrova, and another third had tables filled with bottles and beakers of Malice. When Vaati wasn’t tinkering with Twinrova’s research or the Sheikah slate, he was conducting experiments on Malice to better understand its nature and how it might be purified.

Vaati was sitting on a stool, bent over a circuit board, when he heard Zelda come into the lab. He lifted up his head and faced the royal heir. “Hello. Need something?”

“Yeah, um…” Zelda rubbed the back of his neck and caught a lock of his hair. He twisted it between his thumb and forefinger. “You remember when I turned into that giant fox, right?”

“Yes?” Vaati’s eyebrows pursed together as he set aside his tools and turned in his seat.

“Well, when you helped me turn back into _me_ , you mentioned something about being able to make a spell that could help me make me more… you know.” Zelda shrugged. Hesitantly, he asked, “Can you really do that?”

Vaati sighed. “I don’t know, to be honest.” He slid his fingers under his purple cap and scratched his head. “Shapeshifting is complicated.”

“But you do it all the time.” Zelda walked up to one of the spare stools by the Minish’s worktable and sat down across from him. He hooked his feet under the rungs and rested his elbows on the table. “It’s not like I want to change my size or appearance that much. I just want to physically be what I am on the inside.”

“I know. But you’re asking to be able to make a permanent change. Transforming myself into a Hylian is a temporary spell. I can probably teach you it anyway, but I’m not sure how long it would take for you to learn how to passively maintain it like I can.”

“I still want to try. Why would a permanent change be any harder than a temporary one?”

“It’s the matter of changing the essence of a thing.” Vaati glanced back at his worktable, deciding how to better explain. He picked up a notepad. “Imagine I’m this piece of paper,” he said, tearing off a piece. He folded it in half and in half again, compressing it down until it couldn’t fold anymore. “When I’m in my true form, I’m like this. Everything that makes me, _me_ is all bundled together.” He partially unfolded it. “When I turn into a Hylian, I’m still basically the same person, just expanded. The same happened when you turned into that giant fox. The process doesn’t change the paper.

“To permanently change yourself,” Vaati continued, smoothing out the paper on his worktable, “we would need to do more than change the shape of you.” He picked up a pencil and began scribbling down the paper, shading it black. When he got to the end, he held it up to show how much graphite he used, even though plenty of the paper was still showing through many gaps. “We can make superficial changes quite easily, the same way people get tattoos or pierce their ears or remove warts.” He turned over the paper, showing its clean back. “But to make deeper changes would require more significant intervention.”

Vaati set down the abused sheet of paper and looked over his workbench once more to see what he could use to demonstrate a more profound change. He had a bottle of ink, scissors, a Bunsen burner, and a cup of cold tea he had forgotten about. Not wanting to make a large mess, Vaati decided to ball up the paper and put it in his tea cup. He put a few drops of ink into the water to help darken it further and swirled it around. When he pulled the paper back out, it had been dyed a soggy greyish brown. He squeezed it in his hand to wring it out and carefully pried it apart, but the process still ended up tearing parts of the paper.

“This is the problem with making changes to something’s physical essence,” Vaati said, pointing to the tears. “The paper has been fundamentally changed, and in theory it will be fine once it dries out, but the process has caused irreversible damage as well. If I had dyed it more carefully, such as if I had a better bath than a tea cup and took my time with the process, I might not have torn it so much.”

Zelda frowned through Vaati’s demonstration, thinking over his words. “So, how much of me do you think you can change?” He put his fist over his chest, gripping his shirt. There were a lot of things about himself that he wanted to be different – like his voice, shoulders, and muscle tone – but the main source of his insecurities was the fact that he had to rely on a binder to hold most of his dysphoria at bay. Whenever he had to take it off, such as during exercise or while he was in bed, he always felt worse about himself. He wasn’t supposed to wear it for as many hours a day as he was already, but he hardly cared about the risks of hurting himself.

The royal heir’s self-consciousness didn’t escape Vaati’s notice. “If you want to reduce the size of your breasts, I can probably manage that.” He hesitated, then added with as much professional indifference as he could manage, “However, if you do want to have children, I don’t know how it would affect your ability to breastfeed. I also have to tell you, I definitely don’t think I can preserve your chances of being able to produce an heir if you ask me to change your genitals. Doing that could also make certain activities feel not quite as comfortable, given how complex nerve endings are.”

Zelda blushed, wishing Vaati hadn’t mentioned that, but he appreciated the truth all the same. He had already accepted the fact that he would have to bear children at some point. The reminder was just more embarrassing than disappointing. “Okay.” He took a deep breath and exhaled. “We don’t have to do that other stuff, but I do want to fix my chest. When do you think you can do it?”

Vaati considered the question. “I’m not sure. I’ll need to review my knowledge of anatomy and consult a surgeon, I think. The less magic we use to make the change, the easier it will be.”

“Wait, are you saying we’d have to literally cut them off?” Zelda asked, unnerved by the idea of something so extreme.

“Well, to reduce their size, mass will have to be removed somehow. If we have an actual doctor help with that, I can assist with the healing process and make cosmetic adjustments as needed.”

“Oh.” Zelda twisted his hair around his fingers, mulling over the process. “Okay.” A nervous laugh escaped him and he looked sheepishly at Vaati. “Is it dumb that this sounds scary? Even though I want it?”

“No,” Vaati reassured him with a gentle smile. “Change always makes people pause.”

“Yeah, but… I don’t know.” Zelda continued twisting his hair between his fingers. “I wish all of this stuff could’ve been done all at once.”

“All of what?” Vaati asked, tilting his head. “Transitioning?”

“Yeah. Figuring out who I am, changing my name, changing what I look like… It’s… Well, it’s a lot. And nobody else I know has had to rebuild themselves from the ground up like me.”

“Right.” Vaati nodded, pensive. He rubbed at the ink that stained his hand. “It’s not the same, but… There was a time I didn’t know who I was supposed to be either. After I let darkness swallow me, I didn’t really know what to do with myself once I was freed from it. I hurt a lot of people with my teacher’s magic cap. I wasn’t the naïve, little apprentice I used to be, and I wasn’t a demon anymore, but it was hard to convince everyone I meant to be good again.”

“But you did, though, right?”

“Yes, eventually.” Vaati smiled self-consciously to himself. “I suppose my story isn’t really that relevant after all. But the point is, I sympathize. And it may be difficult to have to make these changes that no one else has to, but it is admirable that you do know yourself and fight to be recognized as such.” He rubbed harder at the ink on his fingers. “Not everyone has the confidence to make themselves seen like that.”

“I guess.” Zelda paused. He looked more closely at the Minish. “You know, just because you’re actually a tiny person doesn’t mean you have to make yourself metaphorically small too, right? Gan and Nab owe you everything, and if you didn’t help us, I don’t know what we would’ve done.”

“I know,” Vaati said, warmed by the recognition. “Old habits are hard to break. Your appreciation is enough for me.”

Zelda rolled his eyes with a smile. “Maybe, but you deserve more.”

“Perhaps.” Vaati glanced at the circuit board he had been working on before he faced Zelda again. “Was there anything else you needed?”

“Not really, but I was also wondering if you could teach me how you teleport?”

“Oh!” Vaati perked up at the idea. “I can certainly try.” He waved for Zelda to join him on his side of the worktable and took out a pen and a fresh sheet of paper. “Let me write it out.”

“Yes!” Zelda hurried over.


End file.
